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Below, Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic shares five key insights from his new book, Dont Be Yourself: Why Authenticity Is Overrated (and What to Do Instead). Chamorro-Premuzic is the chief innovation officer at ManpowerGroup, a professor of business psychology at University College London and at Columbia University, cofounder of Deeper Signals, and an associate at Harvards Entrepreneurial Finance Lab. Whats the big idea? Authenticity is overrated and can backfire, especially at work. Success comes from strategic self-presentation, empathy, and balancing personal freedom with responsibility to others. Listen to the audio version of this Book Biteread by Chamorro-Premuzic himselfbelow, or in the Next Big Idea App. 1. Authenticity isnt the life hack its cracked up to be Authenticity has become one of the most celebrated traits in every single area of life, especially in the workplace. But this trenddespite its well-intentioned beginningshas not gone according to plan. What was initially supposed to free people from the pressures of conformity in the workplace is backfiring in surprising ways. Excessive praise of being ‘true to yourself’ can fuel narcissism, extreme individualism, and a disregard for obligations to others. While research in positive psychology shows that feeling aligned with ones true self can boost mood and well-being, societys obsession with authenticity has a darker side. Excessive praise of being true to yourself can fuel narcissism, extreme individualism, and a disregard for obligations to others. This cultural phenomenon often harms more than it helps, especially in professional settings. 2. The four traps of authenticity For leaders who want to be competent, effective, and create an inclusive and diverse working culture, it is important to avoid the four authenticity traps. The following mantras seem to propel beneficial behaviors, but can actually hurt objective career success: Always be honest with yourself and others. Most people think of themselves very positively, but decades of research show this self-perception is largely biased and often misaligned with how others see them. Even when we are self-aware, honesty isnt always what others want. They often prefer encouragement, positive feedback, or polite social interaction over unfiltered truth. Always stay true to your values. Following your values blindly can be dangerous if those values are harmful, destructive, or antisocial. History is full of leaders who acted consistently with their values but caused great harm. Even for ordinary people, rigid adherence to ones values can prevent self-reflection, fuel polarization, and make always follow your heart misleading advice. Dont worry about what others think. The idea that we shouldnt worry about how others see us is unrealistic because humans naturally perceive the world through others perspectives and rely on social feedback to grow. Ignoring others input may preserve a self-image of heroism, but it prevents real development as leaders, colleagues, and human beings. Bring your whole self to work. Our whole selfincluding the grumpy, impulsive, or self-centered partsis rarely fully welcomed at work, so telling people it is safe to express themselves is a bit of a trap. Organizations should focus on creating inclusive environments that balance self-expression with being a responsible, collaborative team member, recognizing where personal freedom ends and obligations to others begin. 3. Authenticity can hurt career and leadership outcomes Career and leadership success require strategic self-presentation. Rather than imposing an unedited self on others, people benefit from deliberately managing how they are perceived. This involves understanding the social context, adapting to the needs of others, and making intentional choices about what to share and how to share it. Effective impression management isnt manipulative; its a practical way to achieve real-world goals without compromising integrity. 4. Effective leadership is about managing perception Leadership is less about indulging in self-expression and more about creating value for others. Leaders must distinguish when trustworthiness becomes oversharing, understanding how to manage emotions and communicate effectively rather than engage in inappropriate self-disclosure. Authenticity without strategic awareness can lead to missteps. It is crucial that employees receive information in a way that helps them grow. Authenticity without strategic awareness can lead to missteps, whereas thoughtful communication fosters influence, loyalty, and effective collaboration. 5. Authenticity is a rare privilege Complete self-expression is often a luxury of the powerfula privilege for the elite. Only those with status can impose their unfiltered selves with fewer consequences. But for most people, this approach risks professional and social setbacks. Success comes from balancing authenticity with empathy, collaboration, and awareness of social and organizational norms. Dont just be yourself. Be strategically, responsibly, and thoughtfully yourself. Enjoy our full library of Book Bitesread by the authors!in the Next Big Idea App. This article originally appeared in Next Big Idea Club magazine and is reprinted with permission.
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Annoying peers are hard enough to deal with. Things get even more complicated when the annoying person is your boss. As with peers, there are several ways that a boss can be annoying. Unfortunately, you have to tread lightly with many (though not all) bosses. To be clear, the focus here is on annoying bosses, not toxic ones. A boss who is a narcissist, a harasser, or who sows mistrust isnt just annoying, theyre bad for you and the organization. Im going discuss four things that may seem petty, but if you start dreading your engagements with your boss (or resenting them for their foibles), it can come back to hurt your working relationship. The cipher Some people are blessed with the ability to communicate clearly. They open their mouths, and full paragraphs of well-formed sentences spill out that illuminate whatever they are talking about. But, as Steve Martin once said, Some people have a way with words, and others . . . uh . . . not . . . have a way. If your boss is in that latter category, they may ask you to do things, give you feedback, or generally talk about things going on at work that you dont fully understand. It might be tempting to nod along with them and then try to figure it out later. That avoids an awkward discussion, but it probably causes more problems than it solves. Instead, develop a routine with your manager to summarize the outcome of meetings/discussions at the end. Tell your boss that this is to help you remember. Then, repeat back the important bits. Your boss will correct anything you get wrong. As an added bonus, this exercise might give your boss additional words and phrases they can use to talk to you about similar things in the future. The micromanager A boss who gets into the details of your work is frustrating, because youd like to be able to complete what youre doing without constant oversight. There are two common reasons why bosses micromanage. When someone gets their first supervisory role, they are usually in a transition from front-line work to management. Because their job (up to that point) involved doing something just like what you are doing now, it may be hard for them to let go of the details of the work to focus on what they need to do with their new position. For these bosses, it is often okay to have a gentle conversation in which you ask questions about their new responsibilities and provide a subtle reminder that the front-line work is not part of their day-to-day any longer. The second typical source of micromanagement is anxiety. When your boss is not confident in their leadership or when they feel threatened by other factors at work, they may clamp down on the people working for them to ensure that nothing goes wrong. While this tactic may make them feel better, it makes everyone else miserable. There are two things you can do here. First, create a schedule of checking in with your boss every so often. Youd like to get that to once a week if you can, but you may have to start by doing it at the end of a work shift, or every two days, and gradually work your way to once a week. Second, provide a shared document of the status of projects. This record is helpful anyhow, because it can be used when something goes wrong with a project. If your boss has access to the status of key projects, they may be less likely to pester you for those details and add suggestions about how they would approach things. The forgetter One of the Big Five personality characteristics is conscientiousness, which reflects the degree to which you focus on details and follow rules. Some bosses are highly conscientious, and they are up on the details of every project. Others are not. When your boss is not conscientious, they may be great at giving strategic and tactical advice, but they may forget things later. They may miss meetings that dont make it to their calendar, or forget something they told you they would do later. A forgetful boss needs more constant reminders than a conscientious one. Follow up meetings with a written summary of key points and any specific information you need from your boss later. Send that summary by email. Even bosses who arent that conscientious are likely to check their email and to respond to direct requests on those emails. If there are particular things you need to get from your boss by a specific date, coordinate with their admin if they have one. Try to ensure that key dates and requests get on their calendar. Often, a forgetful boss is aware that things slip through the cracks, and so they have a system to help them keep from dropping too many balls. The (long-winded) storyteller One thing about being the boss is that people feel like they need to listen to you. Some bosses (particularly those who have been in a leadership role for a while) get used to having an audience, and they may use meetings and even hallway conversations as an opportunity to regale you with stories. A good storyteller keeps it brief and relevant. If your boss is not a great storyteller, then seeing them wind up to tell a long tale can send shivers of dread up your spine. You may have to bear a certain number of these storiesparticularly if youre sitting in the break room. But, you should try to have something scheduled up against meetings you have with your boss so that you have something you need to get to. That way, if your boss does launch into an epic narrative, you have a good reason to excuse yourself and move on.
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During college, a friend convinced me to take an improv comedy class. An introvert by nature, I was way out of my depth. On the first day, I was so nervous I thought I might faint. But I ended up loving itand learning a lot. In addition to silly warm-ups to get rid of inhibitions (zip, zap, zop, anyone?), I discovered the magic of Yes, and . . . In improv, Yes, and is more than just a phrase; its a mentalityto accept whatever idea or proposition is thrown at you, no matter how outlandish, rather than shutting it down. This mantra helped the flow of our improv performances, but it turned out to be a great life lesson as well. From that point on, I tried practicing it outside of the theater as well. In the workplace, Yes, and means being an optimisttrying to see the value in someones idea, instead of knee-jerk shooting it down. As Ive discovered, pessimism can be an insidious force that quietly takes root in teams and drags down performance, morale, and creativity. On an individual level, research shows that pessimists are five times as likely to burn out as optimists, less likely to be highly engaged at work, and less likely to have strong relationships with their colleagues. Leaders play a crucial role in shifting mindsets from pessimism to optimism. But it takes more than motivational quotes or town halls. Here are three practical ways to foster optimism at the workplace. 1. Model solution-oriented thinking Let me start by clarifying that pessimism isnt inherently negative. Some experts say that pessimists bring unique leadership strengths to the table, like protecting resources and correcting course. Pessimists’ work tends to be more thorough, accurate, and carefully considered. Problems arise, however, when a negative take doesnt offer an alternative solution. For example, when you reject a proposed new product concept because you assume the market is already saturated. By responding to challenges with curiosity instead of cynicism, leaders set a tone that their teams learn to follow. In the example above, rather than flat-out rejecting the idea, you could explore what might differentiate your version or uncover a niche the competition has overlooked. Solution-oriented thinking doesnt mean accepting every idea. It means pinpointing the root of your opposition and remaining open to possibilities that move the discussion forward. 2. Acknowledge challenges without harping on them Like anything else, there is such a thing as too much optimism. At that point, its called toxic positivitywhen people are forced to act upbeat even if thats not what theyre feeling, or when they are asked to ignore reality. At best, toxic positivity is unhelpful; at worst, it hurts morale. Employees can start to feel like theyre being gaslit. For example, imagine a team project that has been derailed for reasons beyond the members control, but a leader insists on meeting a clearly impossible deadline. This kind of blind optimism might motivate the team, but its more likely to cause mistakes, burnout, and erode trust. Real optimism isnt toxic positivity. Leaders should aim for a balance between honesty and forward-thinking plans: acknowledge challenges without being paralyzed by them. Set realistic goals, and adjust deadlines when needed, without letting momentum and drive fall slack. Celebrate progress After two decades as CEO, Im a firm believer that complete failure is extremely rare. Even events that feel like total setbacks often contain small victories worth celebrating. As leaders, its crucial to always search for wins, no matter how small, and acknowledge them. For example, lets say your marketing team launches a bold campaign that doesnt quite hit the desired moment of virality. Its still worth celebrating the teams innovation while reflecting on what could have been done differently. This will help to ensure that the team is willing to experiment with bold ideas in the future, seeing each effort as part of a larger vision of improvement. Celebrating progress builds momentum even in the face of losses and reminds teams that their efforts are valued. You can Yes, and their creativity, even if the idea didnt become the massive success you hoped for. In the long run, this will help cultivate a realistically optimistic outlook.
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E-Commerce
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