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Below, Kate Murphy shares five key insights from her new book, Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony. Murphy is a journalist whose work has appeared in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, The Economist, and Texas Monthly, among other publications. Whats the big idea? Humans are instinctively wired to sync with one another, and this invisible alignment of bodies, brains, and emotions shapes attraction, trust, and belonging. It can deepen connection and fuel cooperation, but it also makes feelings and behaviors contagious, giving each of us more influence over others than we realize. Listen to the audio version of this Book Biteread by Murphy herselfbelow, or in the Next Big Idea app. 1. Human beings have an instinct to sync. Bring two or more people together and they will immediately begin to synchronize or fall into rhythm with one another. Not only do we tend to subconsciously mimic one anothers movements, postures, facial expressions, and gestures, but recent breakthroughs in technology have revealed we also sync up our heart rates, blood pressure, brain waves, pupil dilation, and hormonal activity. This phenomenon is known as interpersonal synchrony, and it is possibly the most consequential social dynamic most people have never heard of. Interpersonal synchrony is significant because, by subconsciously mimicking even the subtlest twitches of expression and biological rhythms of other people, we can channel their thoughts and feelings. When we reflexively smile upon observing someone elses joy, we feel their happiness. When we flinch at the sight of someone being hit, we intuit their pain. Syncing with their racing heart gives us a read on their anxiety. Moreover, the synchronization of brain waves during conversations or during shared experiences aligns beliefs and attitudes. You and the other person, at that moment, are of like minds. The result is that emotions, moods, attitudes, and subsequent behaviors can be as contagious as any disease and can have just as profound an influence on our health and well-being. 2. Sustained synchrony signals attraction and attachment. Scientists have conducted numerous speed-dating and speed-networking experiments since the early 2000s to find out why some people immediately click while others rub each other the wrong way. Researchers discovered that couples who reported a feeling of connection and wanted to see each other again were literally on the same wavelength. Their bodily movements and internal rhythms were coordinated, and the wavelike neural firing patterns in their brains coupled, or coincidedoften in less than 30 seconds. Moreover, the synchrony occurred even when the other person violated previously expressed parameters of what an ideal partner should be or look like, such as must share the same faith, have a good income, be college-educated, or tall, or blonde, or whatever. This might explain the growing dissatisfaction and widespread deletions of dating apps. Someone can check all the boxes of what you or a dating apps algorithm thinks is a perfect match, and yet, when you meet that person face-to-face, all you can think about is what youd rather be binge-watching on Netflix. Conversely, you can be instantly drawn to someone you meet in person whose online dating profile might have made you immediately swipe left. Syncing is a multisensory phenomenon and, as a result, you cant experience it online in its truest, most exquisite form. 3. Synchronized activity promotes bonding. Not only do you sync with people you like, but you also tend to like people with whom you are in sync. When people do the same thing at the same time, such as marching, dancing, singing, rowing, and even finger tapping, it tends to build feelings of rapport and trust. They disclose more personal information and are more cooperative, kind, and helpful. Even infants strapped into face-forward carriers and bounced in time to music were significantly more likely to favor experimenters who were likewise bouncing in time, compared to experimenters who bounced out of sync or did not move at all. People engaged in synchronized activities also report feeling a sense of transcendence or oneness with those around them. Think of soldiers marching, religious congregants singing and reciting prayers, protesters chanting, and any kind of dancing. Aristotle was probably onto something when he lectured his students, the Peripatetics, while walking the grounds of the Lyceum. Apple cofounder Steve Jobs was likewise known for inviting people he wished to influence to take long walks with him. 4. The downside of interpersonal synchrony. Our instinct to sync can make us susceptible to getting mired in other peoples psychosocial muck. There is something called the bad apple effect, where one persons negative or erratic energy can infect an entire group. This is especially true in work situations where you cant necessarily choose the people with whom you interact. Its not like speed dating, where you can do a quick sample sync and move on if you dont like what you feel. An emergency room nurse told me that the difficulty of her job has less to do with the number of patients who arrive or the severity of their injuries than with who else is on her shift. There are definitely people who, when you walk in, you see them and youre like, This will be a good day no matter what gets thrown down, she told me. And there are other days when you walk in and youre like, Okay, this is going to be a struggle. Weve probably all had the experience where one person coming into or leaving a group totally transformed the vibe for better or worse. At scale, interpersonal synchrony can tip into social contagion, which is responsible for the best and worst aspects of humanityfrom functioning governments, coordinated market economies, cohesive cultures, and scientific advancement to wars, riots, persecutions, and mass hysteria. This is not to say humans are indistinct from schools of fish or murmurations of starlings. On the contrary, individuals potentially have as much power to influence as be influenced. Various techniques can help you recognize and encourage interpersonal synchrony when its beneficial, and disengage and reclaim yourself when it is not. A big part is noticing your feelings and questioning where they come from. Are you feeling anxious about something happening to you directly or are you upset because of something someone else is feeling or doing on- or offline? Awareness is key to breaking free of synchronies that are not working for you. 5. Be what you want replicated. Synchronized phenomena occur throughout the natural and life sciences, but research has only recently revealed the extent to which human beings synchronize and its significance. Synchrony between humans is nothing short of a superpower. Compared to other species, we are not particularly imposing, and our senses are pretty feeble. While capable of astounding feats of cognition and imagination, our brains are nevertheless limited and subject to all kinds of processing errors. But thanks to interpersonal synchrony, we can marshal and coordinate our bodies and brains to communicate, innovate, create, and succeed in ways far exceeding what we could accomplish alone. We are all tuning forks roaming the planet, picking up vibes, and finding resonance with those we encounte. Its a truth known on some level since antiquity. Plato wrote that we are all born seeking to reunite with our missing other half, but what we are really seeking are those whose internal rhythms harmonize with our ownthe people with whom we effortlessly click. And certainly, turns of phrase like being in sync, ;in tune, in step, and on the same wavelength have been part of our vernacular long before recent advances in technology revealed that they were true. Interpersonal synchrony, above all, reminds us that we are not unto ourselves in this world. We internalize one another, even those we may not know well or know at all. We can literally warm peoples hearts and get on their nerves. And we carry others vibes and rhythms around with us like catchy tunes that, once heard, continue to play in our heads. The instinct to sync confers a responsibility to try to be what you want replicated. Your thoughts, feelings, demeanor, and behavior do not begin, nor end, with you. Enjoy our full library of Book Bitesread by the authors!in the Next Big Idea app. This article originally appeared in Next Big Idea Club magazine and is reprinted with permission.
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E-Commerce
Across the country, solopreneurship is taking off. People are starting their own, one-person businesses in droves. But when it comes to who is doing all of this solopreneuring (yes, it’s a word), one-woman businesses are gaining more traction. More women are starting their own businesses than everwhether solo or with employees. According to May 2025 data from small business platform Gusto, in the last five years, there’s been a huge leap in just how many women left their jobs to start their own business. In 2019, just 29% of new businesses were started by women. By 2024, that number was 49%. Moreover, over half (52%) of solopreneurs in the U.S. are now women. So, why are women so interested in steering their own ships? According to the May 2025 Gusto report, women crave a sense of autonomy. Almost three-quarters of women who started businesses in 2024 said they did so to have control over their own schedules. Likewise, 71% said they wanted to be their own boss. Meanwhile, men were more likely to cite earning more money as an incentive than women, with 35% pointing to increasing their income as a driving force compared to 29% of women. Female solopreneurs aren’t uninterested in money, but they do seem to deeply value making their own decisions at work. That’s true for Ana Beig, a mix-media artist and retreat host based in Austin, Texas. She tells Fast Company that autonomy isn’t just important. It’s “a condition for doing meaningful work.” For starters, she says that’s because her environment is deeply impactful when it comes to how she’s able to show up to create every day. She adds that while financial incentives do matter, they are far from what drives her to stay committed to her solo work. “I was drawn to solopreneurship because it lets me integrate work with life rather than constantly negotiating between the two. I can choose how I structure my time, how I engage emotionally, and what kinds of relationships I build through my work,” she explains. For Gigi Robison, a solopreneur with a chronic illness, who helps creators and thought leaders build brands, and was recently named one of Gen Z’s leading voices in the creator economy, becoming a solopreneur was all about having autonomy. She says having control over her work schedule enables to put her energy exactly where she needs to and to structure her day in a way that works for her life. It also enables her to redefine “success beyond someone elses version of productivity.” Before she started her own ventures, she says she didn’t feel as if her time was nearly as well-spent. “In a traditional job, I often felt like I was spending more time proving my value than actually creating value,” she explains. “In solopreneurship, I get to focus on outcomes, impact, and building something that lasts.” There are plenty of good reasons why so many people are starting their own businessesand doing it solo. But for women, who may be more heavily impacted by power dynamics at work, running your own operation may be a reprieve from office dynamics. According to one recent study from the University of Georgia, even women who were leaders felt constrained by gender dynamics at work. That means that womeneven those who successfully climbed the corporate laddermay still not feel a sense of autonomy. For womenwho earn less on the dollar than men, are promoted less often than men, and, according to new research, less interested in promotionssolopreneurship may offer a way to build a future without having to deal with the thorny gender dynamics of corporate life. For women solopreneurs, freedom is the real draw. And it’s one that’s catching on.
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E-Commerce
There is a type of business story that has become nearly cliché: A legacy brand is facing stagnating growth. Loyal customers are aging out, and new customers arent taking their place. So the brand reinvents itself to pull in a younger segment of the market, often by borrowing ideas from cooler competitors to seem more on-trend. But instead of younger and cooler, the rebrand comes off as insincere, stilted, or cringey. Worse, the brands older, core customers, who liked the brand as it was, are irritated by the changes. Instead of spurring new growth, the effort drives off some of the existing customers, leaving the brand worse off than when it started. This is the recent story of The Bachelor television franchise. After a two-year hiatus, ABCs dating show returned this summer, having made changes that were designed to appeal to a younger audience. The updated Bachelor in Paradise cribbed from Love Island, its primary rival in the competitive-dating-in-bathing-suits genre, and a show beloved by the younger audiences The Bachelor wanted to attract. The changes included an aggressive, quick-cut editing style and the introduction of a cash prize for the winners. Younger consumers werent drawn to the new format, but previously loyal fans panned the changes in online forums, suggesting the show should have included a seizure warning. Both the ratings and viewership numbers for this season hit historic lows. Cracker Barrels recent woes also fit this pattern. Its traditionalist segment of 65-plus diners was dwindling, leading the brand to try attracting new, younger customers by updating the interiors and changing the logo. It is not clear that the changes brought in those younger diners in significant numbers. But the changes did produce an exhaustively dissected backlash from its loyal customer base, for whom, it turned out, nostalgia was a significant part of the Cracker Barrel appeal. Meanwhile, JCPs major reinvention more than a decade ago was also driven, in part, by trying to attract younger customers with its elimination of deep discounts in favor of everyday low pricing. But the move was far more successful in driving away its older loyalists, who loved hunting for those deals. Lands’ End tried to lure in younger customers when it introduced a high-fashion line and edgier branding. Instead, they went from profits of $9M to losses of nearly $8M within a year. The desire to attract younger customers made sense for all these brands. But they each fell into the same trap: They assumed they could make changes to their offerings and branding to attract new customers without having to worry about how their current customers might react to those changes. The stewards of these brands forgot that different people want different things from the brands that serve them. While there are times when young and old consumers both want the same things from their brands, the fact is, younger customers and older customers also frequently want different things. Changing a brand to make it more appealing to younger customers may (or may not) draw in those younger customersbut it may also accidentally displease the older customers who like the brand just the way it is. In our book, The Growth Dilemma, Managing Your Brand When Different Customers Want Different Things (Harvard Business Review Press, 2025), we identify a few key strategies brands can use to manage the risk of conflict between customer segments as they grow. Here are three: 1. Create different spaces for different audiences One strategy involves carving out separate spaces within a brandeither conceptual or physicalfor different customer segments. For example, many brands use multiple social media handles to communicate to different segments. Timberland has different Instagram channels for its blue-collar worker segment and its fashion segment. Starbucks has different store formats catering to those who value Starbucks as a place to get a quick and convenient coffee on-the-go (kiosk and drive-through locations), and those who value Starbucks as a place to work and socialize (its third place lounge locations). Some brands diffuse potential conflict between customers by creating separate gated communities within the brand that cater to different customer segments. Historically, Nike was great at creating sport-specific communities that were each distinct within the Nike brand. Nike basketball customers had different products, apps, advertising, and experiences than Nike runners, tennis players, or sneakerheads. Some brands create a hierarchy among their customer base, allowing a status separation among customers. This is a common path for many fashion brands that serve segments with different price sensitivities and design demands. For example, Armani serves different segments under the Giorgio Armani, Emporio Armani, and Armani Exchange sub-brands. Credit card and financial services brands often create a hierarchy of customers based on net worth and spend to tailor products and services. Escalating levels of service and benefits allow a company like American Express to simultaneously serve mass markets and elite customers without causing tension between groups with very different expectations. 2. Focus on one audience Sometimes two segments are so divergent in their preferences or identities that they simply cannot be served well under the same brand. In these cases, brands may opt to fire a customer segmentas Burberry did in the early 2000s after it inadvertently became popular among soccer hooligans, by discontinuing products popular among chavs and reducing the prominence of its iconic check pattern. In other cases, they may develop a new brand to serve a new segment. Toyota is able to successfully serve a diverse set of customers under a single brand. But management wisely realized that there were limits to how far they could stretch the Toyota brand and so introduced Lexus to serve a set of customers with a fundamentally different set of preferences. Especially in the cases of ideological conflict between customer segments (e.g., Bud Lights attempts to be an apparent ally of the transgender community), the gulfs between customer groups may simply be too vast to span with a single brand. Some segments are best served by different brands. 3. Find common ground Perhaps the best strategy for brands looking to grow into younger segments is in looking for convergence in values and preferences across segments before the brand starts making changes. Instead of reorienting the brand to appeal to the new, hoped-for customers, brands should first look for the Venn diagram intersection among 1) preferences of existing customers, 2) preferences of the new customers, and 3) the brands image and history. Growth strategies that dont satisfy all three criteria tend to fail. Consider the remarkable recent resurgence of another legacy TV franchise. Despite being around for 20 years, Dancing with the Stars has been growing in recent easons, and attracting younger viewers in the process. DWTS didnt pull this off by fundamentally changing what its longtime fans love about the show, but instead by innovating in areas around its successful formula. These tangential improvements have increased the draw for new, younger fans without stepping on the toes of loyalists. For its stars, DWTS has been increasingly turning to celebrities relevant to younger audiences, including recent Olympians, TikTok influencers, and reality TV stars. It has also created additional, meme-worthy social media content, including footage of the dancers training or goofing around backstage. This content serves as a supplemental draw to younger segments, without messing with the on-stage magic that loyal watchers love. Just like the relationships in Bachelor in Paradise, the relationships among customer segments can be nuanced and difficult to manage. Unlike the relationships in Bachelor in Paradise, the goal is not maximum drama. Knowing the rules of customer relationship management can allow brands to attract customers across generations without experiencing the backlash.
Category:
E-Commerce
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