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Organizations often describe change as a technical exercise: Adjust a workflow, update a reporting line, reorganize a process or two. On paper, it all looks relatively contained. But the lived experience of change rarely aligns with the tidy logic of a project plan. Recently, I worked with a team in the midst of what leadership kept referring to as a small restructuring. And technically, it was. The core work wasnt shifting, no ones job was threatened, and the strategy made sense. Yet the emotional climate thickened almost immediately. One manager became more reserved than usual, answering questions with careful brevity. Another grew unusually fixated on minor details. A third found herself more irritable, though she couldnt articulate why. Nothing dramaticjust a low hum of unease moving through a group of otherwise steady professionals. {"blockType":"mv-promo-block","data":{"imageDesktopUrl":"https:\/\/images.fastcompany.com\/image\/upload\/f_webp,q_auto,c_fit\/wp-cms-2\/2025\/11\/cupofambition.png","imageMobileUrl":"https:\/\/images.fastcompany.com\/image\/upload\/f_webp,q_auto,c_fit\/wp-cms-2\/2025\/11\/cupofambition-mobile.png","eyebrow":"","headline":"\u003Cstrong\u003ESubscribe to A Cup of Ambition\u003C\/strong\u003E","dek":"A biweekly newsletter for high-achieving moms who value having a meaningful career \u003Cem\u003Eand\u003C\/em\u003E being an involved parent, by Jessica Wilen. To learn more visit \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/acupofambition.substack.com\/\u0022\u003Eacupofambition.substack.com\u003C\/a\u003E.","subhed":"","description":"","ctaText":"SIGN UP","ctaUrl":"https:\/\/acupofambition.substack.com\/","theme":{"bg":"#f5f5f5","text":"#000000","eyebrow":"#9aa2aa","subhed":"#ffffff","buttonBg":"#000000","buttonHoverBg":"#3b3f46","buttonText":"#ffffff"},"imageDesktopId":91454061,"imageMobileId":91454062,"shareable":false,"slug":""}} What struck me was how quickly this supposedly minor adjustment stirred up deeper questions for people. Thats the part of change we tend not to acknowledge. Even modest shifts can unsettle the psychological architecture we rely on to feel competent, grounded, and connected. The disruption isnt about the logistics of the change; its about the quiet, internal recalibration that follows. The Psychology Beneath Transition In both coaching and clinical work, clients often describe this experience in vague terms: I dont hate the change. Something just feels . . . off. That feeling isnt superficial. Its a signal that the change is brushing against something importantidentity, capability, belonging, autonomy, the sense of who we are in relation to the work and the people around us. Most reactions to change are not reactions to the actual change. They are reactions to what the change is interpreted to mean. A new workflow can raise doubts about whether ones skills remain relevant. A shift in reporting lines can evoke questions about trust or status. A more efficient structure may unexpectedly trigger fears of being left behind. Even when the change is welcome or long overdue, it can still destabilize the sense of continuity that makes daily work feel predictable. When these emotions arent acknowledged, they tend to surface indirectlyas tension, withdrawal, hypervigilance, or that familiar sense that the team is slightly out of sync without being sure why. A Leaders Turning Point I saw this play out with a director who couldnt quite understand why her team seemed anxious. Were not changing their jobs, she said. Why is this causing so much stress? She was looking at the content of the change rather than its psychological implications. So I asked her, If you were sitting in their chair what might this change symbolize? She thought for a long moment. Probably that Im losing control, she said quietly. Or that leadership thinks our judgment isnt strong enough. Once she recognized that meaning-makingnot mechanicswas driving the reaction, she changed her approach. Instead of doubling down on explanations of the strategy, she met individually with team members to ask how the transition was landing for them. These werent troubleshooting conversations; they were opportunities for people to articulate the emotional subtext of the change. Over the next two weeks, the atmosphere settled. People began to reengage. The same plan, once met with tension, now felt workable. The difference wasnt procedural. It was psychological. What Effective Leaders Actually Do Leaders often assume that smooth change management depends on clear plans and well-communicated timelines. Those matter, of course, but theyre not what ultimately determines whether people adapt. The leaders who navigate transition well understand that the emotional environment carries more weight than any formal framework. 1. They acknowledge the wobble Effective leaders dont pretend everyone is fine, nor do they treat every raised eyebrow as a crisis. They simply name whats happening in a way that feels matter-of-fact and compassionate: This kind of shift can throw people a bit. If youre feeling unsettled, youre not alone. The acknowledgment isnt performative; its grounding. It signals that disorientation is expectednot a personal failing or a sign that someone is resistant. When the leader names the wobble, the team doesnt have to expend additional energy hiding it. 2. They offer predictable touchpoints In times of transition, people instinctively look for something steady to hold onto. Leaders who understand this create simple, reliable anchors: a weekly check-in that doesnt get rescheduled, updates that arrive when theyre promised, a shared understanding of what will happen nexteven if what happens next is simply another conversation. Predictability doesn’t remove uncertainty, but it gives people a rhythm they can orient themselves around. It restores a sense of temporalityI know where we are, and I know when Ill hear something againwhich has a surprising regulating effect on the nervous system. 3. They reinforce continuity One of the most destabilizing parts of change is the fear that everything is up for grabs. Leaders who navigate change well remind people of what isnt shifting: the teams shared values, their collective purpose, the norms that shape how they work together, the relationships that predate the change. This isnt about offering false reassurance; its about locating the throughline. People need to know what they can still rely on so they can make sense of what is genuinely new. Continuity is the psychological counterweight to upheaval. 4. They return a sense of agency Change often creates a feeling of being acted upon, which is why even small choices can make a disproportionate difference. Leaders who understand this invite their team to help in decision-making in thoughtful, bounded ways: How should we sequence this work? What would make the new process feel more workable? Which aspects should wetest first? Its not about democratizing every call; its about restoring a sense of authorship. When people have a hand in shaping even a small part of the transition, the experience shifts from something happening to me to something Im participating in. 5. They make room for emotion without absorbing it Every change process brings emotion along for the ridefrustration, anticipation, grief, relief, confusion. Strong leaders dont pathologize those reactions, nor do they try to rescue people from them. They stay steady enough to listen without absorbing the emotional charge, and curious enough to understand what the emotion is pointing to. When they respond, they dont personalize the feelings or interpret them as pushback. They treat emotional reactions as datainformation about needs, fears, assumptions, or blind spots in the transition. That stance alone often lowers the temperature. Final Thought Change will always involve more than new workflows or org charts. It touches peoples sense of competence, identity, and place in the systemand thats where the real work of leadership happens. When managers pay attention to the emotional experience of changenot just the operational rolloutteams stay steadier and transitions land more cleanly. The leaders who succeed arent the ones with the perfect plan; theyre the ones who help people find their footing as the ground shifts. {"blockType":"mv-promo-block","data":{"imageDesktopUrl":"https:\/\/images.fastcompany.com\/image\/upload\/f_webp,q_auto,c_fit\/wp-cms-2\/2025\/11\/cupofambition.png","imageMobileUrl":"https:\/\/images.fastcompany.com\/image\/upload\/f_webp,q_auto,c_fit\/wp-cms-2\/2025\/11\/cupofambition-mobile.png","eyebrow":"","headline":"\u003Cstrong\u003ESubscribe to A Cup of Ambition\u003C\/strong\u003E","dek":"A biweekly newsletter for high-achieving moms who value having a meaningful career \u003Cem\u003Eand\u003C\/em\u003E being an involved parent, by Jessica Wilen. To learn more visit \u003Ca href=\u0022https:\/\/acupofambition.substack.com\/\u0022\u003Eacupofambition.substack.com\u003C\/a\u003E.","subhed":"","description":"","ctaText":"SIGN UP","ctaUrl":"https:\/\/acupofambition.substack.com\/","theme":{"bg":"#f5f5f5","text":"#000000","eyebrow":"#9aa2aa","subhed":"#ffffff","buttonBg":"#000000","buttonHoverBg":"#3b3f46","buttonText":"#ffffff"},"imageDesktopId":91454061,"imageMobileId":91454062,"shareable":false,"slug":""}}
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AI coaches are everywhere. Theyre training marathoners and coaching leaders, and even billionaires Ray Dalio created an AI clone to serve as a digital mentor. In the past few months, searches for AI coaching have gone through the roof. And its easy to see why. AI coaches are available 24/7, cost less than a gym membership, and can recall every word youve ever said. Research even shows they can match human coaches in helping people reach their goals. Ironically, people often tell AI things theyd never tell another person. Studies show chatbots reduce our fear of judgment, making them surprisingly effective at uncovering whats really going on. And with 94% of employees saying theyd stay longer at a company that invests in their growth, AI coaching seems like the perfect solution, at least on paper. Im a coach and I use AI. But after a decade of coaching more than 4,000 people, heres what Ive learned: AI moves the needle 90%, sure. But for the life-changing 10%, you still need a human. Why AI coaching falls short Last month, a client told me she wanted to readjust her focus. If shed asked an AI coach, she wouldve gotten a list of productivity hacks. But when I heard her say it, I noticed something felt off. Did you notice how your energy dropped when you said that? I asked. That question opened the real issue. She wasnt struggling with priorities; she was afraid of leaving her comfort zone. Changing her focus was a protective strategy that wouldve kept her stuck. Thats the 10% AI cant identify. Science backs this up. Our brains sync through mirror neurons, a process called emotional contagion. Its how a coach can sense when your energy dips, even before you speak. Humans also co-regulate each others stress responses, a process thats essential for change. Thats why, in psychotherapy, the relationship itself predicts outcomes as much as any treatment method. The same holds true for coaching. Finally, clients often tell me they chose to work with me because of my story. Im the child of immigrants who became a Princeton-trained engineer before walking away from corporate life. Im also an introvert whod rather watch Netflix than network. That shared humanityseeing someone whos been where they arebuilds trust and makes them realize: If she can do it, maybe I can too. The smarter way forward: 3 ways to use hybrid coaching Still, Im not saying AI coaching doesnt work, because it does. But the smartest coaches and clients wont choose between humans and AI. Theyll use both. Heres how to combine them for the best results: 1. Be consistent Use an AI tool like ChatGPT to stay accountable every day. Prompts like Based on my reflections this week, what patterns or habits keep showing up? or Highlight one recurring theme in my journaling that might be holding me back help you track growth between sessions. 2. Dig deeper AI can help you surface patterns faster. One of my clients uses AI to journal every morning. By the time she shows up to our call, she has already identified her blocks, so we can focus on getting results faster. Try prompts like: How would an executive or business coach advise me on this? 3. Define actions After each session, use an AI transcription tool like Otter.ai to turn coaching insights into concrete steps. Use prompts like: Based on this call, what actions do I need to take in the next week/month? and Turn this call into a simple weekly action plan. Thats how AI helps you move fasterwhile your human coach makes sure you move in the right direction.
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Happy Friday is ranked as one of the worst ways to begin an email and it is also one of the worst ways to end a piece of correspondence. While Happy Friday may seem like a friendly send-off to colleagues as they approach the weekend, it can easily offend for many reasons. Here are three excellent reasons never to use this expression. #1: IT CAN BE ANNOYING This expression may be used by people who are trying to lift the spirits of a colleague or make the recipient feel relieved that the workweek is coming to an end. But your colleague may be involved in working hard to complete an assignment, or be involved in a project that needs to get done. If so, your Happy Friday will be irritating. His or her reaction might be to feel this writer knows little about the pressures of work or completing assignments. According to a study a full 69% of employees say their mental health has worsened over the past year, so theres a good chance your colleague is not having a happy Friday. #2 IT CAN BE INSENSITIVE Beginning or ending your email with Happy Friday presumes that everyone is having a great day. But how do you know? I get emails from people I dont even know wishing me a Happy Friday. I was in the hospital when a few of these came, and I was not having a happy time. It is presumptuous to wish someone a happy day when she could be sick, tired, or overworked. In such cases, the words Happy Friday will only deepen the recipients misery. According to a study by the American Psychological Association, half of adults in the United States reported feelings of emotional disconnection, isolation from others (54%), left out (50%), or lacking companionship (50%). So wishing someone Happy Friday may elicit a deeper sense of loneliness, with the recipient feeling bad to be left out of the happiness circle. #3 IT IS A CLICHÉ If you are still tempted to use this expression, dont succumb to that temptation because it is a cliché that gives rise to other clichés. In some of the emails I get Happy Friday is followed by wishing you a lovely weekend and hoping you had a great week, and hoping you are well. Happy Friday also gives rise to Happy Monday, Happy Tuesday, or Happy [any day of the week, or any season]. I am much more likely to read and respond to emails that dont begin or end with this awful expression. Give it up! Instead, you might begin your correspondence by mentioning your last communication with that person. For example say thank you for following up with me or I loved your thoughts about . . . . And conclude with action, such as Ill look forward to hearing from you regarding next steps. In short, use your opening and closing to frame the subject matter of the correspondence.
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