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Welcome to Pressing Questions, Fast Companys work-life advice column. Every week, deputy editor Kathleen Davis, host of The New Way We Work podcast, will answer the biggest and most pressing workplace questions. Q: How should I respond to rude comments at work?A: If I were to make a pie chart of most peoples complaints about work, the actual work would be one of the smallest slices. Bad bosses and annoying coworkers would take up the biggest slices, for sure.There are a few factors to consider if someone in your office is making rude comments. Is it a one-off or part of a pattern? If someone who is usually pleasant to work with says something rude out of the blue, its likely not worth making a huge deal out of it. You can respond with humor, as contributor Mita Mallick suggests. This can sometimes deflect the situation, disarm and catch the bully off guard. Using humor can shift focus away from the hurtful comment that was made in the moment. A well-put sarcastic response to a rude comment can serve the double purpose of calling it out and shutting it down. Give them the benefit of the doubt that some other stress is impacting their behavior or they just put their foot in their mouth. If its part of a pattern If the rude comments are part of a pattern and are directed at you, and you feel comfortable, you can call the person out either publicly or privately. A public callout: A callout can be as simple as just repeating the comment back to them: “Did you just tell me I should smile more?” or as direct as “Calling my idea lowbrow is pretty insulting.” This approach certainly puts them on the spot and will likely cause them to get defensive, but it will probably make an impact.A private chat: If you want to be a little less confrontational about it, you can discuss the issue with them privately after. Start simple: Ask if you can speak with them at a time when you feel calm and there are no distractions. Then be direct but dont make assumptions. Try something like, When you call my ideas ‘lowbrow’ in a meeting, it feels really insulting. Is there a reason why you say things like that? Or, Please dont comment on my appearance. Again, its likely that they will get defensive, but dont engage in an argument. They might say, It was just a joke, or, It wasnt my intention to offend you. Neither of those things matter; what matters is they said something that you found offensive and they shouldnt say it again. Let them know that and end the conversation. If it’s still happening If you confront the person insulting you and it keeps happening, or if you dont feel comfortable confronting them, go to your direct manager. Its a managers job to deal with these kind of uncomfortable interpersonal relationships and sometimes people are apt to take things more seriously if it comes from someone slightly higher up on the org chat. Talking to your manager about it also creates a record if the issue ends up needing to be escalated to HR or upper management. Need more advice on dealing with rude comments at work? Here you go: 5 questions to ask before you take that comment personally Why rudeness at work Is so contagious How to respond to public bullying at work Stung by your bosss comment? Heres what to do next How to deal with a passive-aggressive coworker
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E-Commerce
As one of the worlds leading charity auctioneers and a seasoned keynote speaker for companies like Goldman Sachs and Google, I have spent 80 to 100 nights on stage every year for over two decades. Since I am typically one of the last people to take the stage at a fundraising event, I have watched countless people in various stages of panic just moments before they go on stage. After they find out my role, I usually receive a predictable set of rapid-fire questions from upcoming speakers in the hopes that some last-minute tips from a pro can help them do more than keep from passing out when they hit the stage. Here are five things I tell people in the final moments before they take the stage to help them walk out looking and feeling confident, collected, and ready to rock the room. Reframe Your Story It doesnt matter how many times you go on stage; you will still get an adrenaline rush in the final moments before you walk out. Instead of thinking of that shaky, nervous, finger-tingling sensation as nerves, think of it as energy that you will bring to the room. You want to fire up the audience? You need that energy. The next time you start worrying that your nerves are going to get the best of you, reframe the narrative: This energy is going to fire me up, and Im going to use it to fire up the audience. Find Your Strike Method When I first started taking auctions, I realized that to calm my nerves and center my focus, I needed a solid routine. I decided to start every auction in the same way; banging down my gavel three times before I launch into selling. This movement allows me to channel my nerves into one action that grabs the audiences attention at the same time. I also came to understand that this personal routine which Ive since dubbed my Strike Method had an unexpected benefit. By doing the same thing every single time, I took away the guesswork. Now, every time I go on stage, I know the gavel will go down. This predictability allows me to focus on other things beyond myself, like strategically garnering bids and engaging with an audience that wants to be entertained. To define your own Strike Method, look for something that feels authentic to you. Is there a mantra, a phrase, a physical movement that helps you focus and bring yourself to a point of strength? Spend time figuring out what you can do and do it every single time you get onstage. Own the room The first seven seconds of any presentation are the most important because seven seconds is how long it takes for people to make up their mind about you. You want to grab their attention in those seven seconds and keep them focused on you. When you are walking to the place where you present, whether it be a podium, center stage, or among the crowd, you want all eyes on you. Keep your shoulders back, make sure your eyes are level, and make eye contact with people as you walk out with purpose. Do not slouch, cower in fear, or look down at the ground that will only make people fearful that your speech or presentation will be painful to listen to and even more painful to watch! Sell as yourself When you get on stage, do everything you can to act as natural as possible. An audience can sense when someone is playing a part which can immediately turn them off as it seems fake and, quite frankly, boring. Use your own words, your own voice, and communicate in a way that feels authentic to you. Now is not the time to try on a new character. Authenticity will always win on stage and in life so be yourself and sell your message as the trustworthy communicator that you are. The audience wants you to succeed Never forget that the people sitting in front of you are rooting for youthey are your biggest cheering section. The audience doesnt want to sit through an hour-long presentation with a terrible speaker. They want you to do a great job. Get on stage ready to give them a great show and they will be asking for you to come back every single time!
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E-Commerce
Many prominent law firms have recently found themselves in President Donald Trumps crosshairs. Skadden, Arps attorney Rachel Cohen encouraged the firm to fight the governments pressure, only to have her attempts rebuffed and to be effectively forced out from the firm. Cohen shares her fears about how the rule of law is changing in America, raising questions about the legal industrys role in the checks and balances of the U.S. system of government. Cohens experience encourages leaders everywhere to navigate the relationship between their business and broader society. This is an abridged transcript of an interview from Rapid Response, hosted by Robert Safian, former editor-in-chief of Fast Company. From the team behind the Masters of Scale podcast, Rapid Response features candid conversations with todays top business leaders navigating real-time challenges. Subscribe to Rapid Response wherever you get your podcasts to ensure you never miss an episode. These accommodations to the Trump administration, whether from law firms [or institutions like] Columbia University, some people start saying, Oh, they didn’t give up that much. It’s mostly sort of posturing and optics, and why pick a fight if you don’t have to?” Yeah, I think a lot of people think that it’s 2016 and are so convinced of their own intellectual superiority that they are ignoring that the Trump administration is outplaying them. There’s a real problem with people being convinced that we are once again in a situation where you have a disorganized president who is blustery, who doesn’t know what he’s doing. It’s a real indictment of judgment to be able to say, “Donald Trump is stupid, so it doesn’t matter. We’re going to just beat him.” I had people say to me in meetings, “Well, this will all work itself out in three years, because people are going to be coming out of the Trump administration trying to get jobs, and nobody will hire them because we’re all mad.” We are fundamentally misaligned on what we think is going to come in the next three years if we fold on this now, because I do not think that there is an end to the Trump administration if we do not hold the line and act collectively. I’ve been asking the CEOs on the show and other CEOs the extent to which business, and I guess law firms as part of that, are part of the checks and balances in the American political system overall. It feels that way to me that it should be, but is there any legal basis for thinking that? I think business, less so. I certainly would argue that there’s a moral obligation when business leaders want to be listened to, and respected, and dismantle guardrails on American capitalism so that they can achieve certain profits, that then there becomes a moral obligation for you to continue to speak on those things even when it’s hard. But I don’t think there’s a legal one, and I think that’s just the nature of capitalism. I do think with law firms it’s different because you swear your oaths. Most of us swear an oath to the Constitution. If you work in this industry, and especially if you’ve made millions and millions of dollars off of it, and your industry is crucial for the functioning of American democracy, and you also swore an oath to the law and the concept of this American experiment broadly, then yes, I think there’s an obligation for you to ensure that the law continues to exist. The decisions to make these accommodations to the Trump administration by Skadden, by Paul Weiss, by other law firms, they’re doing that not necessarily for legal reasons, but for business reasons, right? Because otherwise, it’s going to cost them money. Isn’t it ultimately a business argument to say, “Oh, we want to keep doing that work for the government, or we don’t want to be blacklisted in some way?” I think number one, it’s a bad business decision in the long term, and I’ll come back to that in a second. I’m going to read to you the profits per equity partner at Paul Weiss and Skadden, Arps. This is the average, what the average partner earns in profits on an annual basis. 2023 profits per equity partner at Paul Weiss, $6,574,000. Skadden, Arps: $5,403,000 annually. I just want to make sure that when we’re talking about what profits are being lostand also the people who, again, swore an oath to the Constitution who are working in this industry, who need it to exist, who are clearing $5 million a yearI think that the long-term business strategy of capitulating to someone with authoritarian and oligarchal tendencies. We’ve seen the way that Elon Musk operates and how he turns on people on a dime. Skadden represented Elon Musk in his Twitter acquisition, and that man has no loyalty. Donald Trump and Elon Musk don’t have loyalty to each other. To hedge your bets on being in good favor with someone who does not respect people, it’s much less about policy aims of the Trump admin, and that I certainly would not be quitting my job. I didn’t quit when he got elected. That’s a political thing. I don’t expect the firm to speak on political issues, though they have in the past, but I certainly don’t expect that from a business. That’s not what this is. It’s not about politics. It’s about existential infringement on American values, and the existence of a constitutional republic in this country. What’s next for you and what’s your goal? In some ways you’ve become a bit of a pied piper. I know you created a tool kit for lawyers who want to protest internally. What’s your goal in all this? I don’t have a next career move. With the nature of my educational credentials, my financial situation, having worked at Skadden for several years, all of these things, I already felt that I had an obligation to try to prevent the bad thing that I see coming. For some of those folks who are listening to this who may be like, “It’s a little bit too extreme. Is it really that bad?” Maybe there’s some other impact that could be had between here and there about what an alternate view of America’s future looks like? Oh, that’s the path that I’m on. That’s the path that we go down if people collectively act now and intervene. That’s the path that we’re on, is some bad things will happen. We’re already seeing them happen. There’s people with legal status being deported to Salvadorian prisons because of clerical errors, because the’re deporting people over judge’s orders. I think that there’s absolutely a path to not just interrupt these harms, but to channel the kind of response and reaction right now to make a much better version of this country. I think no matter what, things get darker before that happens, but I think at the end of the day, I’m coming on and saying, “These bad things could happen,” but I’m acting in a way where I’m very confident they don’t have to. The fear of retaliation is so strong right now, and where is the bravery going to come from? I guess if you’re already making $5 or $6 million a year and you’re not brave enough to push back, but I don’t know. Jeff Bezos is a billionaire, and he’s not pushing back. Where is that bravery going to come from? It’s going to come from people of color. It’s going to come from people that understand theory, and allyship, and are plugged into their communities and care about them deeply. Hopefully, we also get some people that have a little bit more agency, but if we don’t, that’s all that’s ever worked anyway.
Category:
E-Commerce
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