Most people have goals to get ahead and even know, in principle, what steps to take to achieve them, but just keep not taking those steps. For instance, a successful designer does beautiful art on the side and wants to put it out there to see if he has something people will buy. Or a corporate leader has left her role to be an independent consultant and needs to communicate with more people about the value she brings. Both the artist-entrepreneur and the budding consultant know about the steps involved in marketing and sales, but they just keep not taking those steps, at least not enough of them. Something is holding them back.
In my experience coaching entrepreneurs and training leaders I find that very often they know what steps they should be taking. One more hack or pep talk isnt going to do much for them. There is, however, a counterintuitive processteach me how to failthat can make a huge difference regardless of their specific skill set, goal, or context.
Failure is an option
Typically, people tend to avoid thinking about failure. Failure is something many people fear. And research does support what most people would probably suspectthat fear of failure really can hold us back, even the entrepreneurial-minded. To avoid thinking about failure can be a way to try to avoid fear of failure. You knowStay positive.
However, research has long shown that it’s exposure to our fears, rather than avoiding them, that can help us move past them. And the more fully we can manage to safely revisit the contexts and emotions involved, the better. Findings reveal that when people expose themselves to the fear of failure, and let themselves explore that fear of failure mindfully, it can lead to breakthroughs in how they approach their task.
Failure as a strategy
Teach me how to fail is a powerful way to flip the script on failure and expose yourself in a safe and thoughtful way to the context and emotions connected with that failure. The process also reveals a wealth of actionable information quickly, that can precisely address what holds someone back. It points them toward what to do differently in their unique context.
With this process we view failure as a strategy, and moreover as a successful one. It is not successful at getting to the goal, but successful at meeting some other important need. That shift alone is often an eye-opener for people. Consider a situation of your own where you are not taking action that you think you should. Now reflect on this question: How is it serving you to not act? This is a way of reframing the meaning of failing-to-act in a more positive, often accurate, and adaptive light. Neuroscience shows that reframing the meaning of something in this way can change your emotional state and how strongly the brain may be triggering fight-or-flight mode.
In this process, moreover, we try to learn how to fail in the specific ways a person fails to act.
Case study
Lets consider Tim, the successful designer now looking to expand as an artist-entrepreneur, who took part in a group coaching series I co-facilitate. Trying to move himself to act, Tim said I just need to put my art out there and see what happens. When asked, how is it serving you to not put your art out there? Tim owned up to the fact that it allowed him to avoid finding out whether people would say no. That helped him keep hope alive that his art could find customers. With this we learned what his strategy was helping him succeed withto keep hope alive.
Then we explored further what someone would need to do if they wanted to fail to put their art out there exactly as Tim does. We knew one piece already, which was to value keeping hope alive. His strategy included certain behaviors, beliefs, emotional states, imagining particular reactions from other people, focusing attention on the wrong things, and so on. For instance: 1) we should justify waiting by telling ourselves the product was not ready. 2) We should imagine the letdown we would feel if there was no interest. 3) We should believe it would be bad to learn the answer was No, and that if no one purchased any pieces that means the art is not good enough to be commercial.
Difference makers
After we had learned how to fail-to-act in precisely the way Tim did, it was much easier to see what might make the difference for him. Here were some of the shifts he made:
His focus: Instead of putting energy into justifying waiting, he would put it into justifying not waiting
His feelings: Instead of imagining the letdown feeling, he would imagine the exhilaration of the process
His beliefs: Instead of worrying about hearing no, he would try to hear no. He would design every outreach so that people have to say yes or no to some step in his sales funnel. Then he would aim to find out why so he could make adjustments.
His good intentions: He then reflected on the question: How can I keep hope alive better by putting my art out there?
Psychology and neuroscience research highlights how each of these kinds of shiftsfocus, feelings, beliefs, serving your good intentionscan make a big difference in whether and how you act. In short, what is happening is that this paradoxical focus on failure as an adaptive strategy interrupts the pattern. It snaps you out of your stuck state of mind and puts you in a more resourceful state of mind. It also shines a light on the hidden assumptions, needs, and habits that have been getting in the way.
For Tim, these shifts did make the difference. He put his art out there and is excited about the response.
Teach me how to fail is a process I learned from NLP (neurolinguistic programming). It is one of many tools from NLP for quickly identifying the difference that will make the difference for someone to be able to make a desired change in a lasting way.
Pinky Cole, founder of the plant-based food chain Slutty Vegan, shares the details of a recent professional upheaval in which she lost control of her companyand then fought to win it back. She also opens up about surviving a harrowing driving incident, the business mistakes that nearly brought everything down, and the emotional and family toll of it all. Its a raw, unfiltered look at leadership under pressureand what it takes to rebuild when everything falls apart.
This is an abridged transcript of an interview from Rapid Response, hosted by Bob Safian, the former editor-in-chief of Fast Company. From the team behind the Masters of Scale podcast, Rapid Response features candid conversations with todays top business leaders navigating real-time challenges. Subscribe to Rapid Response wherever you get your podcasts to ensure you never miss an episode.
We last spoke on stage at the Masters of Scale Summit in October of 2024. And things seemed to be hummingyou had new stores, there were some high-profile collaborations, and we talked about investors, including Shake Shack founder Danny Meyer, a great mentor to have. And then everything turned a little bit. Take us back to last fall, how you were feeling about the business, and what unfolded as the year finished out.
I want to preface this conversation as a cautionary tale for founders. When I talk about my journey and the things that I’ve been through, I have seen a massive amount of success. I have gotten the title of every single magazine you could imagine. I’ve graced all the lists. I’ve gotten all of the things. But what I also realized is that it didn’t come without challenges. And just like all things go up, some things do go down.
And when I met with you, Bob, I was in the middle of one of the most powerful yet crunching seasons of my life. Here it is: I’m still making double-digit millions, doing very well as an organization by way of revenue, but operationally, I was not sound. And because I was not sound, the ship was sinking. It started off with a slow sink, and then eventually that ship went all the way under. And there’s no way to save a ship that’s got 10 holes in it. No matter how many buckets you try to get to push the water out, whatever effort that you try to do, there was no way to save it. I went from having challenges with cash flow. You know how it goes, Bob. If the cash flow doesn’t make sense, then the business can’t make sense. And all of these things happen really, really fast.
Some people think that it’s like a slow roll. No, it’s just like one day you’re good, and the next day you’re not. And after I did the taping with you, it got real. And real as in I had to file for an assignment for the benefit of creditors. And for the people who are listening to this: If you don’t know what that is, that is like bankruptcy’s fourth cousin far removed. It is an insolvency proceeding that happens outside of court when a company or organization, the revenue doesn’t speak to the debt that it has. My debt was above the revenue. Here I am, overall, I got about $20 million in debt. I’m burning $100,000 every single week. That is taxing on any entrepreneur, especially when you have a board that, at this point, they’re like: “Okay, how did we get here? What happened?”
And when I look back over everything, I wasn’t in the company day to day. I’m the mascot. I’m the thought leader. I’m doing all these things, putting people in position. We did a lot of great things collectively as an organization, but there were some learning curves there. And what I’ve learned from this experience is that talent is the root of all evil or is the foundation for your success. You want to have a really good organization? You’ve got to have really good talent. And I’m not just talking about people that look good on a résumé. I’m talking about people who can roll with the punches, who are great problem-solvers, who can look at an organization and identify ways in which to make it better. It’s not enough just to say that you worked at a company that was successful. No, you’ve got to come in this one and make sure that this one is successful. A lot of learning there, to say the least.
I want to ask you a couple of questions about that turn that happenedyou mentioned losing $100,000 a week. Now you could say, “Well, that’s the plan. We’re going to invest $5 million a year to build a brand.” That it’s part of what the strategy is. It doesn’t sound like that’s where the losses were coming from. Was there a single primary business problem, or was it like a group of things?
It was a group of things. The model has always been proven; we have a good business model. We have a cult following. People love the brand. That wasn’t what it was. What happened is, in the middle of the pandemic is when we got our rise. Could you imagine we raised $25 million and then inflation is through the roof? What would cost $600,000 to open up a Slutty Vegan cost almost $1 million to open up a Slutty Vegan. We opened up 14. We were very ambitious with our goals. On the surface, the business was very buttoned up, very organized. But the reality of it is, we were a bit above our britches. Our C-suite was super expensive. We were paying top dollar for construction and opening up locations. We had one location in particular where it took us four months beyond the completion date to get opened because of permittingobviously, that cost money. All of the things just came together, and it became a domino effect.
I had three babies in three years. I had a baby in ’21, I had a baby in ’22, and I had a baby in ’23. And I got married, and I’m doing all of these things. And when I started this company, I never coined myself as an operator. I’m not a restaurant operator. I’ll tell the truth. But this has always been a passion project for me, so what I do very well is, I market my business very well. I know how to connect the dots, and I can bring people together. So I brought in people who I thought can manage the operations. And did they do good work? Sure. I’m a professional, sure. But at the end of the day, the level of acumen that we need for the momentum that we have, I needed somebody else. But I want to say that I needed that to happen at the moment in time in which it happened, because it gave me the opportunity to, one, clear my cap table, two, clear the debt. And then it gave me an opportunity to buy my company back and rewrite my story.
The one thing about entrepreneurship is that nobody tells you that it has to be a straight line. You’re going to get some curves, there’s going to be some speed bumps, and you’re going to flip over a couple of times. But as long as you keep driving, that is where you get the juice. And I’ve been thirsty for this new juice of 2.0 in Slutty Vegan, and that’s bringing in a new president, bringing in a new accounting frm, bringing in a new HR team, even down to the damn assistanteverything new. And I wanted to be able to rewrite the story in a way where not only just I could feel good about myself aspirationally, but founders around the world can look at my story and know what to do, and know what not to do, because Pinky went through it.
Most things in the world are complicated, and identity more than most. Everyones sense of self and purpose is a combination of shifting internal and external ingredients, and it’s never permanent: Brain chemistry, physical environment, family structures, life experiences, material conditions, and many other things all mix and change as we move through different phases of life.
And while the factors that contribute to individual identity are unique to each person, the society we’ve built over the past century or so has resulted in some notable commonalities. Traditional support systems have changed, community activities have shifted toward individual ones, and even the quick fulfillment of consumerism has started to lose its appeal.
The result is that even as it’s arguably become easier to secure material well-being, work has become the main way many people form their sense of self. For them, work is a reason to get up in the morning, a substitute family, and the way we accomplish something meaningful with our lives; for many, answering “What do you do?” is often very similar to answering “Who are you?”
Integrating AI into the workforce adds new complexitiesbut also new opportunities
I’ve seen this in many of the organizations I work with, including the company I lead at the forefront of AI. By introducing a technology with such immense transformative potential into the workplace, we’re faced with a deeper matter than just rethinking the ways we work: AI also challenges our fundamental sense of self. We’re all reevaluating our purpose, our standing in society, and ultimately our value; what’s more, we’re doing so individually as well as collectively, and on a rapid time scale. There are no easy answers, which can result in a hugely polarized workforce.
Some employees react to the introduction of AI into their day-to-day processes with anxiety or outright resistance. But what business leaders can’t lose sight of is that the fears they hear aboutfor example, that AI could make roles obsolete, that human creativity and judgment will be lost, that long-term career prospects will become untenableare actually expressions of deeper concerns. The real resistance to AI originates from the uncertainty over rethinking who they are and who they will become, not just from ethical hostility to new technology. It’s an emotional reaction, not a logical one.
We’re also seeing an extreme opposite reaction, a huge movement of people welcoming the “identity crisis” AI is bringing with it. Plenty of employees are adopting AI with urgency, desperate to be given the go-ahead to embrace it fully and to do more with it. Some people are just more comfortable with reinvention, carving out new roles, and exploring ambitious new paths. These are some of the best allies the leader of an AI-implementing organization can have.
There are also plenty of angles in between these extremes, such as those who use AI but carry with them shame around admitting that theyve used the tech in a piece of work. However, as we’ve seen with other initiatives, incorporating a full range of identities and beliefs makes for a stronger organizationand that includes attitudes toward AI.
Make AI personal and purposeful
What those at the forefront of AI adoption really need to consider is how the people around us can come to feel that the technology can enhance their conception of themselves, not detract from it. It’s a question of framing and communication more than tools: As leaders we must foster the support, skills, and environment every employee needs to identify meaningful new goals and work toward them. It’s a tough switch, but one that’s perfectly possible if you approach it with genuine understanding and a commitment to transparency.
Leading by example and setting the bar high is an approach I’ve found to be particularly inspirational here: Putting things in historical perspective helps the mindset of ambitious, meaningful goals take hold. Just think about how the technology to automate food production allowed us, remarkably quickly, to turn humanity toward putting a person on the moon. What achievements that previously seemed impossible can we make a reality if we all adopt AI?
So addressing why some employees are actively resisting AI means addressing mindsetsand changing them with empathy, openness, and optimism. If successful, today’s business leaders can reframe AI as a way to accelerate how we conceive our own value, elevate the purposes we strive for, and unlock an even more fulfilling sense of self.
Check out eight of the sharpest, boldest business books shaping how we think, lead, and grow as professionals in 2025.
After the Idea: What It Really Takes to Create and Scale a Startup
By Julia Austin
Entrepreneurship expert Julia Austin shares battle-tested strategies to help founders and startup joiners build their venture from the ground up. Listen to our Book Bite summary, read by author Julia Austin, in the Next Big Idea App or view on Amazon.
Black Capitalists: A Blueprint for What Is Possible
By Rachel Laryea
A groundbreaking look at how Black visionariesfrom Wall Street to Lagos, Nigeria and beyondare reimagining capitalism to benefit the needs of Black people and, ultimately, everyone. Listen to our Book Bite summary, read by author Rachel Laryea, in the Next Big Idea App or view on Amazon.
Pioneers: 8 Principles of Business Longevity from Immigrant Entrepreneurs
By Neri Karra Sillaman
Unlock the principles that drive the remarkable success stories of immigrant entrepreneurs from around the world. Listen to our Book Bite summary, read by author Neri Karra Sillaman, in the Next Big Idea App or view on Amazon.
Click: How to Make What People Want
By Jake Knapp with John Zeratsky
A guide for starting big projects the smart waybased on firsthand experience with more than 300 new products and businesses. Listen to our Book Bite summary, read by author Jake Knapp, in the Next Big Idea App or view on Amazon.
Ping: The Secrets of Successful Virtual Communication
By Andrew Brodsky
The essential guide for when (and how best) to use virtual communication tools, from video to instant messaging and everything in between. Listen to our Book Bite summary, read by author Andrew Brodsky, in the Next Big Idea App or view on Amazon.
Inner Entrepreneur: A Proven Path to Profit and Peace
By Grant Sabatier
A comprehensive blueprint detailing how to start, build, buy, scale, and sell a business that expands your life. Listen to our Book Bite summary, read by author Grant Sabatier, in the Next Big Idea App or view on Amazon.
The Insiders Guide to Innovation at Microsoft
By Dean Carignan & JoAnn Garbin
In this unique guide, youre not just reading about innovationyoure learning how to do it from the people behind some of the biggest breakthroughs of the last 50 years at one of the most influential and valuable companies in the world. Listen to our Book Bite summary, read by authors Dean Carignan and JoAnn Garbin, in the Next Big Idea App or view on Amazon.
Gambling Man: The Secret Story of the Worlds Greatest Disruptor, Masayoshi Son
By Lionel Barber
The first Western biography of SoftBank CEO Masayoshi Son, financial disruptor and personification of the 21st centurys addiction to instant wealth. Listen to our Book Bite summary, read by author Lionel Barber, in the Next Big Idea App or view on Amazon.
This article originally appeared in Next Big Idea Club magazine and is reprinted with permission.
From on-again-off-again tariffs, economic uncertainty, and layoffs, fresh graduates are in one of the toughest job markets in recent history. More than half do not have a job lined up by the time they graduate, and the unemployment rate for young degree holders is the highest it’s been in 12 years, not counting the pandemic.
Technological advancements are further making the situation harder, as artificial intelligence (AI) has wormed its way into the workforce, cannibalizing the number of entry-level jobs available. Whats a young grad to do?
I interviewed hiring managers, career advisers, and college students, and in this piece youll learn:
What out-of-work new grads need to be doing right now in their limbo
How to identify industries that are hiring you may never have thought of
The right approach to developing AI literacy to stand out
1. Use limbo productively
What several recent college grads refer to as limbo, the time period between graduation and employment, is often regarded as an excruciating phase of uncertainty. Experts recommend using this time as an opportunity for gaining experience outside of traditional corporate work.
Gig work and seasonal jobs like events and festivals can be a great opportunity to pick up some work experience, hone soft skills such as team work and attention to detail, and make some extra cash and contacts.
Adam Stafford, CEO of AI-powered recruitment platform Recuritics, says he is often impressed by young applicants who take on gig work while searching for jobs. I see somebody who comes into our organization says, I got out of college and I worked my tail off for three or four months while I was looking, that shows me that is somebody whos got hustle, Stafford says.
If its not possible to find gig work, volunteering is also a good way to gain experience. Volunteering can help provide actionable examples of leadership and teamwork to share during job interviews if you have little to no work experience, Lucrecia Borgonovo, chief talent and organizational effectiveness officer at Mastercard, points out.
Even though you’re not necessarily acquiring a job, volunteering is a really great way to gain a lot of experience, she says.
In addition, its important to keep applying to jobs, even if it feels like youre not getting anywhere. Having a routine can help. Cherena Walker, executive director of career and professional development at Stevens Institute of Technology, recommends treating job applications like a college course. For instance, applicants can learn from their own college schedule to determine what days and times they work best in, allotting that time for applying as if it were a class.
If you do that on a regular cadence, you’ll get a whole lot more done, Walker says. That’s a lot more focused, and you can have the rest of the time to yourself.
2. Be flexible and look at the big picture
As AI makes its way into the workforce, its impact will be greatly felt among entry-level jobs. Just a few months ago, Anthropics CEO Dario Amodei told Axios that AI could be responsible for wiping out about half of white collar entry-level jobs in the coming years. The best way to ride the wave? Be okay with going into fields you hadnt thought of and look ahead, experts tell Fast Company.
While the idea that it’s unlikely to land the perfect job straight out of college isnt exactly groundbreaking, I think we still spend too much time searching for the exact role or location that aligns perfectly with our experience, Jamie Shearer, an account executive at communications agency Pinkston who writes about postgrad experiences on LinkedIn, shared via email. This can leave new grads with a frustratingly narrow field of opportunities.
Stafford suggests grads look into industries that are hiring, where there might be a skill overlap. For instance, he notes theres a high demand for applicants in the healthcare, aerospace, and defense industries, which might be a great fit for applicants who were previously looking for tech jobs. Additionally, thinking about broader economic trends might better position young professionals in the workforce.
Step back and look at the global economic environment, Stafford advises. Where are governments investing? Where are big companies investing? Those all then start to flow into the private sector.
Stafford says Europes ongoing rearming efforts are making aerospace and defense industries a booming market for young talent. Regardless of how you think or feel about that whole movement, it is creating a lot of economic opportunity, he says.
Even for grads who are looking to stay in an industry, considering new specializations is vital. Angela Tran, a 2024 graduate and current account executive at Astrsk PR, struggled to find work after her internship in public relations for lifestyle and beauty ended. However, she was able to find a job after pivoting to tech PR.
I didn’t know that I was going to enjoy it, and I didn’t know I was going to be good at it, Tran says. It was an eye-opener for me, that I should try new things in different sectors.
3. Intentionally upskill yourself
It is no surprise AI literacy is the most coveted skill for young employees entering the workforce. This year, LinkedIn named it the top skill on the rise. According to research from Autodesk, 46% of employers say AI skills are a priority for hiring over the next three years.
These tools can include everything from LLMs like ChatGPT, or industry-specific tools like Adobes AI-powered features for the design field.
Yet it’s easy to forget that ChatGPT was released in 2022, during most recent graduates sophomore or junior year in college.
AI is table stakes, it’s no longer optional,” says Mary Hope McQuiston, VP of education experiences at Autodesk. “If you’re a young grad, make sure you are learning how to work with AI tools, don’t wait if your school isn’t preparing you.
AI literacy is not only about learning how to write prompts, but also looking into what specific AI tools are used in an applicant’s industry.
Do your homework and be really intentional about acquiring those skills, whether it is through formal learning like taking a course, or through projects, getting a mentor, like learning from a colleague, Borgonovo says.
For those who did not have access to AI resources in college, recent grads can sign up for free online courses, teach themselves how to write prompts for LLMs via trial and error, or even ask industry professionals what tools they use at work to get a head start.
And, as the technology quickly evolves, staying consistent and curious on technology is key to keep up. It’s kind of like a gym. You go to a gym, you try a bunch of different machines, you set up a practice, and you slowly build the muscle, McQuiston adds.
4. Lean into soft skills
The times are changing so quickly that when fresh graduates entered college they were told STEM degrees were a must. Now, it seems that humanities are making a comeback, as AI cant replace human skillsyet.
Honing in on human skills will give applicants an edge over traditionally hard-skill-based applicants. Conflict mitigation was second to AI literacy, on LinkedIns skills on the rise.
When I talk to our commercial customers, they are not just looking for technical skills, because those are going to constantly change. They’re looking for folks who are effective at problem solving, communication, collaboration, leadership, McQuiston says. AI raises the floor . . . but human ingenuity is going to raise the ceiling.
What is great about soft skills is they may come from everyday experiences, and applicants who learn how to leverage those during interviews can set themselves apart, experts say.
You have transferable skills from past experiences. Don’t be afraid to talk about how you think they can link to the job. It shows you’ve thought about the job seriously, says Robert Whitehouse, SVP of business partnership and talent acquisition for MiQ Digital across Europe, the Middle East, Africa, and North America.
5. Network strategically
Both experts and recent graduates who have scored a job agree that one of the most powerful tools for entering the job market is networking. But, good networking looks different from the now-common mass messaging on LinkedIn. The key is to be targeted and intentional with relationship building.
Avalon Fenster, the founder of Internship Girl, an online community that offers advice for early-career women, emphasizes that applicants often rely on vertical networking like reaching out to executives from companies. Instead, Avalon suggests also prioritizing building strong relationships with peers.
Some of the most powerful networking is with people who are in the beginning level, who are in their first job, Fenster says. Those are the people who really know what it’s like to have broken through this glass floor and will be able to give the most current, relevant advice.
Arthur Brooks is the poster child for an interesting and accomplished life. He has made it a practice to upend his career every decade. He played the French horn for the Barcelona orchestra, is friends with the Dalai Lama, and is the author of 14 books (including one coauthored with Oprah Winfrey).
Hes also a happiness evangelist and a professor at Harvard Kennedy School and Harvard Business School, where he teaches a popular course on leadership and happiness. In addition, he’s a columnist for The Atlantic, where he writes weekly about the tools for building a happier life. Yet even he struggles with his own happiness, which is why he studies it. Now hes gathered his most popular essays into a new book, The Happiness Files: Insights on Work and Life (Harvard Business Review Press), which goes on sale August 12.
Arthur Brooks [Photo: Jenny Sherman]
I connected with Brooks on August 4 for an in-depth conversation, in which youll learn:
Why worrying about whether you feel happy is the wrong way to assess whether you are happy
How you can stop doing the things you hate
Why ambition often works as a counterpoint to happiness
The following transcript has been edited for length and clarity.
I know youve been asked this question a million times, but lets establish a baseline definition. What is happiness?
I start by defining happiness by what it’s not, which is a feeling. People often say that I can’t define happiness, but I know when I feel it, or it’s how I feel when I’m with the people that I love.
That definition is the reason most people aren’t as happy as they want to be. They have the wrong definition of happiness. Feelings and emotions exist to give us signals about what’s going on around us.
Happiness is something that you actually can study and become more skillful at. Its similar to nutrition, where you have to get past the smell of the food, which is the feelings of happiness, and getting more toward the macronutrients, which are its component parts.
The macronutrients of happiness are enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. To be happy, you need to understand what they are and change your habits to get more of them.
If happiness isnt a feeling, how do you know youre on the right track for achieving a happy life?
To begin with, this requires that you pay attention to something other than your feelings. Think about: How much are you enjoying your life? How much do you feel that your life does have meaning? How much satisfaction are you taking in your accomplishments?
Aristotle talked about eudaimonia, which is the good life, well lived, notwithstanding your feelings. It should come to the point where you’re so good at understanding and practicing happiness that you can say, I had a terrible, terrible day today, and I’m an incredibly happy person.
In The Happiness Files you write that we should stop doing things we hate. How do you balance that with understanding that some of what you hate doing is an investment into living a happy life?
Thats right. There are things that you do because they are necessary, but you dont like them. For example, no one wants to wake up at 2 o’clock in the morning to be with their crying child. That’s something that’s not enjoyable, but it is meaningful.
Thats why the three component parts of happiness are so important. If the things that you hate are not enjoyable, they’re not satisfying, and they’re not meaningful, those are the things that you should eliminate if you can.
You can’t eliminate all of them, because life is life. But the best life is one that doesn’t just look for more enjoyment, satisfaction, and meaning. It’s one where you move away from the parts of your life that aren’t any of those things, but you were doing them just because you thought you were supposed to.
In many of your essays, you point out that some of our suffering is because we are trapped in systems that are preying upon our anxiety and fears. What do you tell people who are in these systems but can’t necessarily get out for one reason or another?
It depends on the system that we’re talking about. If we’re talking about a technological system where there’s an overuse of devices and social media, I treat it much the same way that I do with addictive substances and behaviors.
Its the same set of protocols for detoxing from the dopaminergic pathways where your learning system has been hijacked. You have to put together a series of habits in your life that will replace the things that you’re trying to avoid. There are lots and lots of ways to do this, but you have to recognize that these systems work the same way as any other addictive system.
What if these systems are built into our career progression? For example, you mentioned the news is an entire industry that preys upon people’s anxiety to keep them scrolling. However, for many people, its important to stay informed about what’s going on.
To stay informed is very, very different than constantly updating your information. News can be quite addictive, but only when it’s feeding fear, alarm, or anger. Those are amygdala-based responses, and the news media has gotten very good at feeding that and then using technology so you can maximize time in the app.
That’s actually predatory and unethical, but I can’t prohibit it, because I believe in a free society. The truth is nobody should be consuming more than half an hour a day of news.
You’re not going to stop reading news, but you have to set up protocols around it. For example, I read the news once in the morning, and I don’t update. I’m not going to learn anything. I’m just distracting myself, and the best thing to do with these distracting technologies is set up rules.
No more than half of your news reading should be politics. If you read more than 10 or 15 minutes a day of politics, youre hurting yourself.
Even if you work in politics?
[Laughs] You shouldnt work in politics. Thats another way to hurt yourself.
But someone has to do it!
I know. I mean it would be great if representing citizens was more of a positive thing to do. Local politics, which isn’t so contentious, is more about that, but theres this political entertainment establishment that’s really troubling at the national level.
I think we can see this playing out across many different industries beides politics, where the top level is really competitive and can be part of a sick system that exploits you. But what about people who do want to be in the top echelons? Is it possible to be happy at the top?
It’s hard. I wrestled with this my whole career. The truth is that people at the top like CEOs are rarely very happy people. Part of the reason is because their dreams came true, and it turned out they had the wrong dreams.
Look, I’m glad that we have good leaders, and I know some who do really well in spite of it. But nobody does really well in their happiness because of worldly success. They do really well in life along with their worldly success.
The truth is people who have big dreams to help other people, to run organizations, to be a great leader, they need to be very, very careful of other impulses and very careful of other goals. And their goals should not include money, power, pleasure, and fame. If they do, they’re going to wind up incredibly unhappy people.
Youve had an incredible career. How have you implemented these guardrails in your own life?
Poorly at times, and it’s one of the reasons that I studied this material because happiness has not come naturally to me. It’s not that I’m miserable, it’s that it’s been hard, and I’ve chased the lure of worldly success an awful lot, and I’ve had to understand what really matters to me along the way.
One of the reasons I dedicate my life to the love and happiness of others is because I want to understand these things. I want to teach these things. I want to bring more of these ideas to the world.
The result of it is that now when things go wrong, it doesn’t crush me, and when things go right, it doesn’t throw me so much. Now I’m able to focus more on what I really care about, which is to lift people up and bring them together in bonds of happiness and love, using science and ideas. And I focus on that. And that’s the kind of success that I actually want, transcending myself and bringing a better life to other people.
Then some days, I wake up and I’m like Darn it. Nobody read my article in The Atlantic today. And then my wife will say, Go read your research.
What has surprised you the most in your research about happiness?
The shocking truth is that we’re not built for happiness. Mother Nature doesn’t care if we’re happy. Mother Nature wants us to survive and pass on our genes and get calories. She also wires us with all of these impulses to make more money and acquire more stuff and use people and worship ourselves. It makes us miserable.
I thought that like food, or craving protein after I work out, if I really have a natural craving for something, it’s probably based on something really healthy. And it’s not necessarily true when it comes to happiness. It turns out Mother Nature lies to me, and I have to be at war with my impulses to become a happier person.
Philosophers have always said that there’s an animal component to the human prefrontal cortex and a transcendent component to our consciousness. The animal component is your physical impulses, and the divine component is your moral aspirations, and going from one to the other, that’s the life in life. That’s the magic of it all
What are the biggest unanswered questions about happiness?
Oh, there are so many. For one, why is it that happiness is so much harder for some people than it is for others? For example, my wife is just naturally so much happier than I am. Why? Is it just brain chemistry? Is there something supernatural about it? Is it a different way of living? I don’t know. I wish I knew. But if I can put the information that people have about their own selves in their hands, then at the very least they can have strategies for becoming happier.
I’m a big fan of productivity bursts. Like choosing a task that will take 10 or 12 hoursa task you’ve long been putting off specifically because it will take 10 or 12 hoursand knocking it out in a single day. (Here are the eight steps to an incredibly productive day.)
I’m also a big fan of using shorter bursts within a day. Generally speaking, a person can focus on any given task for only 90 to 120 minutes. After that, typically you need a 15- to 20-minute break to recharge and achieve high performance on your next task. (The Pomodoro Technique uses even shorter bursts: 25 minutes of work, five-minute break.)
In so many words, productivity sprints are great. But they do not a work life make.
Over the course of a month, much less a year, how much you get done on a consistent basis matters a lot more than what you can pull off for short bursts. For example, Stephen King, the best-selling author of nearly 70 books, doesn’t write a book in three or four hard-core weeks. For decades, he wrote for five or six hours a day, shooting for 2,000 words a day. These days, he works for four hours with a goal of 1,000 words. (That pace is still more than most authors manage, and King is 77 years old.)
For Kingand for youendurance matters more than speed.
More to the point, durability matters more than speed.
Top Speed Versus Sustained Pace
Imagine you’re a factory worker. You start the day full blast, producing 80 widgets the first hour. No other worker can match your speed; you’re the Usain Bolt of piecework.
But then you start to fade. You manage 75 widgets the next hour, 70 the next. By midafternoon you’re down to 50. Over an eight-hour shift, you manage 505 widgets.
The person next to you never managed to make more than 70 widgets in an hour, but because she kept that pace for her entire shift, she made 560 widgets.
Sound a little too tortoise versus hare? Not really. As writer Brady Holmer notes in a recent Substack post, durability is not about how fast you can go when you’re fresh. Durability is about how little you slow down when fatigued. Bolt may have been fasterat an absolute speedthan everyone else, but he also could have slowed down the least.
That’s especially true as race distances get longer. The 400-meter hurdle world record holder, Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone, may not be faster at top speed than everyone else. But she clearly slows down less over the course of a race.
Why does that matter to you? Because your workday isn’t a sprint. Your work year isn’t a sprint. Workyour efficiency, effectiveness, productivity, outputis an endurance race.
One where your ability to maintain a steady, consistent pace makes an exponentially greater difference than your ability (valuable though it may be) to occasionally crank out a chunk of work.
The Big Three of Sustainable Output
Let’s extend the running analogy a bit more. Most runners focus on the primary factors of endurance performance: running economy, lactate threshold, and VO max.
Running economy is just what it sounds like: how efficiently your body uses energy to maintain a given pace. Biomechanics, coordination, strength, flexibility, and other factors all play a role. In work terms, less wasted effort, less unnecessary repetition, working smarter, not harder. (Although I’m a fan of working smarter as well as harder.)
Lactate threshold is the highest intensity or pace at which your body can clear lactate from your blood as quickly as it’s produced. Go past your threshold and lactate builds up, fatigue kicks in, and performance drops.
VO max is the maximum amount of oxygen your body can use during intense exercise. The higher your VO max, the more oxygen your muscles get, which in exercise terms means you can run, bike, swim, etc. faster and longer.
Here’s where it gets interesting. A new study published in Scandinavian Journal of Medicine & Science in Sports found that runners who maintained a steady pace for 90 minutes experienced a 3% drop in their VO max, and a 7% drop after 120 minutes. Turns out VO max isn’t absolute; it changes with effort.
So do other endurance factors. Work too hard for too long and your ability to keep performing at that level decreasesregardless of willpower, persistence, and determination. The cost on your bodyand, in workplace terms, on your mindof maintaining a fast early pace gets higher and higher until holding that pace becomes impossible.
No matter how hard you try to keep grinding.
That’s takeaway No. 1: Your pace, over the course of a day or week or month or year, needs to be sustainable. No matter how fast the start, producing a steady 70 widgets an hour over an eight-hour shift beats a reverse hockey-stick 63 widgets an hour.
But you can also ramp up your steady, sustainable pace.
Self-imposed limits
Working economyhow efficiently you perform certain tasksis relatively easy to improve. (Here are 90 ways.) The less effort a task requires, the less hard you have to work, and as a result, the easier you can maintain a steady pace. Where improving productivity and overall output are concerned, streamlining and optimizing should always be the first steps.
Then focus on your “lactate threshold” and “VO max.” Unless a solid chunk of manual labor is involved, your job likely doesn’t involve a high degree of physical fatigue. But every job involves mental fatigue. And every job feels like it has limits.
You can only do so much until you can’t do more.
Except you can. The 40% Rule is a concept popularized by former Navy SEAL Dave Goggins through entrepreneur Jesse Itzlers 2016 book Living With a Seal: 31 Days Training With the Toughest Man on the Planet: When your mind tells you that youre exhausted, youre really only 40% done. You still have 60% left in your tank.
In short, you have more in you than you think. When youre doing something difficult and think you need to stop, you have more in you.
Most of our limits are self-imposed. Over time, we’ve set those limits for ourselves. They don’t come close to lactate threshold, much less VO max.
That doesn’t mean you need to squeeze out the remaining 60%. But you could try to eke out another 5%.
The 40% Rule
How long you’ll stick with a challenge before giving up and moving on? That’s not really a limit. How long you’ll stare at a whiteboard, trying to think of a way past a problem, before giving up and moving on? That’s not really a limit. How many calls you’ll make, emails you’ll send, proposals you’ll create, follow-ups you’ll make? Those limits only seem real.
But they arent real. They’re just habits.
Think of a time when fear helped you push past what you thought was a barrier. Think about a time when a huge incentive helped you push past what you thought was a barrier.
Then, you could do more.
Because it turns out your limit was only 40% of what you were truly capable of achieving.
The next time you think youve reached your cold-call limit, make one more. The next time you think youve reached your employee development meeting limit, conduct one more. The next time you think youve reached your quality double-check limit, check one more order.
Challenge yourself to see if you can endure just a little more. Youll find out you can.
What’s more, youll realize that a limit you thought was absolute was only self-imposedand that you can accomplish a lot more than you once thought possible. Over a really long period of time.
Without burning out.
By Jeff Haden
This article originally appeared on Fast Company‘s sister publication, Inc.
Inc. is the voice of the American entrepreneur. We inspire, inform, and document the most fascinating people in business: the risk-takers, the innovators, and the ultra-driven go-getters that represent the most dynamic force in the American economy.
If this week had a mood, it would be change is comingready or not.
Across industries, big players made moves they hope will future-proof their businesses, while others scrambled to adapt to new realities. Tech leaders leaned into bold experiments, retailers weighed expansion against contraction, and the markets reacted with their usual mix of enthusiasm and side-eye.
Policy shifts sent ripple effects through sectors that depend on global talent and international travel. In the corporate world, some companies are making high-stakes bets on emerging technologies, while others are dealing with leadership shake-ups, financial pressures, or both.
And in between the serious boardroom decisions and billion-dollar strategies, there were moments that reminded us how unpredictableand occasionally absurdthe business landscape can be.
Wells Fargo goes all in on AI with Google Cloud
Wells Fargo is rolling out Googles Agentspace AI across its workforcefrom branch tellers to top executives. The bank says the tech will help speed up workflows, automate routine tasks, and deliver sharper insights, all while staying within strict compliance and ethical guidelines.
Trump crackdown pushes international students toward the U.K. and Asia
Stricter U.S. visa policies and heightened scrutiny are driving prospective students to universities in Britain, Hong Kong, and beyond, potentially costing the U.S. billions in tuition and local spending.
Crypto exchange Bullish preps IPO despite steep losses
Bullish plans to raise up to $629 million in its NYSE debut. Backed by BlackRock and ARK, the listing tests whether investor enthusiasm for crypto can outpace concerns about a $348 million quarterly loss.
T.J. Maxx is opening 6 new stores this month
The off-price retailer is expanding in Virginia, Connecticut, North Dakota, Utah, and Washington, D.C., even as tariffs loom over the retail sector. The news comes a little over a year after CEO Ernie Herrman announced the companys goal of adding 1,300 stores to its global portfolio of locations during a quarterly earnings call.
At Home to close more stores amid bankruptcy
The home furnishings chain announced this week that it will shutter six additional locations, on top of 26 announced earlier, as it works to manage $2 billion in debt under Chapter 11 protection.
U.S. to require $15,000 visa bond for some travelers
A one-year pilot program will mandate refundable bonds for visitors from countries with high overstay rates or limited vetting processes. On Tuesday, a notice from the State Department said travelers from Malawi and Zambia would be required to post the bonds. Other countries could be added to the list in the future.
Claires files for second bankruptcy, eyes store closures
Claire’s filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection for a second time this week. The teen and tween retailer has identified 18 stores for likely closure, with more than 1,300 at risk unless a buyer emerges.
Eli Lilly outpaces Novo Nordisk in weight-loss marketbut stock dips
Mounjaro and Zepbound sales are surging, yet investors were underwhelmed by trial data for Lillys oral GLP-1 pill.
Hulu brand to fold into Disney+ in 2025
Say goodbye to Hulu. Disney announced this week that it will merge Hulu content into its flagship streaming app, streamlining offerings ahead of its ESPN streaming launch.
Duolingos “AI first” gamble pays off
Despite backlash over replacing contractors with AI, the language-learning platform posted an 84% profit growth and a 24% stock surge.
Trump calls for Intel CEOs resignation over China ties
President Trump criticized Intel CEO Lip-Bu Tans past investments in Chinese chip companies, intensifying political scrutiny of Intels leadership.
Gary Chapman, long-time marriage counselor and author of The Five Love Languages, created the love languages model when he realized that romantic partners were expressing love in ways that were unnoticeable or unintuitive to the other.
The change languages model offers a similar solution for addressing this same dynamic of miscommunication, but as it shows up in the relational, layered, and systemic work of change.
A ‘MULTILINGUAL’ SOLUTION TO CHALLENGES WITH CHANGE
Over the course of a year, I served as a member of a nonprofits strategic planning committee whose meetings were not unlike what I imagine some of Gary Chapmans marriage counseling sessions to be: confusing and dizzying at best, tense and threatening at worst.
At first glance, this friction made no sense: outside of meetings, we had strong rapport, and we were all explicitly and thoroughly excited about the organizational change that this committee was tasked with realizing. But despite our shared commitment to the prospect of change, we struggled to talk about change in our meetings in ways that were mutually understood among the members: we couldnt carry the different needs and priorities that change surfaces.
While on that strategic planning committee, I began building out the idea of extrapolating love languages into the domain of change. Similar to how Chapman drew connections across his counseling sessions, I drew connections across change efforts that had faltered or been miscommunicated during my 10-plus years in different roles: classroom teacher, professional development coach, nonprofit board member, union organizer, and organizational consultant. Each role and team always focused on organizational growth and transformation.
After being pressure tested in real-world scenarios with clients and colleagues, the change languages were then put in tune to the insights of change-focused thinkers including Lisa Laskow Lahey and Robert Kegan (Immunity to Change), Adrienne Maree Brown (Emergent Strategy), and Damon Centola (Change: How to Make Big Things Happen).
THE SIX CHANGE LANGUAGES
The following definitions are intended not only to differentiate the six change languages, but also to help you identify which of the six resonate the most. Knowing which change language(s) you prefer to speak is prerequisite to noticing which of the six change languages are being spoken by other people.
Big-picture clarity
How we are at the small scale is how we are at the large scale. What we practice at the small scale sets the patterns for the whole system.
Adrienne Maree Brown, Emergent Strategy
If your change language is big-picture clarity, you feel grounded when you know where and how change is heading from the high-level perspective of systems, as well as when you can foresee how youll fit within and interact with these changing systems.
When making sense of change, you feel compelled to map out a wide perspective on the situationclarifying intended or potential systemic outcomes, selecting the change management models that align most with your current situation, and perhaps even considering how your experience of change fits within broader political, international, and environmental contexts.
Personal security
It is not change that causes anxiety; it is the feeling that we are without defenses in the presence of what we see as danger that causes anxiety.
Robert Kegan & Lisa Laskow Lahey, Immunity to Change
If your change language is personal security, your own well-beingand the well-being of othersare front of mind. You make sure that no one is left on their own to navigate the consequences of change.
When making sense of change, you are driven by the fundamental question, After all is said and done, who is and isnt going to be okay? Youll figure out how change might impact your workload, positionality, pursuit of professional goals, and even baseline employability. You have a strong preference for changes that minimize personal risk.
Values alignment
Dont ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.
Howard Thurman
If your change language is values alignment, you feel most open to change when you and your team care about the same principles and are moving toward something you all believe in. Your inner senses of morality and purpose rationalize your negotiations with change.
When making sense of change, you figure out how change can bolster (or interfere with) your, your teams, and your organizations pursuit of the mission at hand. (In fact, you probably have your orgs mission and/or vision statements bookmarked for frequent reference.) To you, change isnt worth pursuing if it isnt evidently aligned with your cause.
Sense of continuity
The art of progress is to preserve order amid change and to preserve change amid order.
Alfred North Whitehead, Process and Reality
If your change language is sense of continuity, you feel stabilized when present and future endeavors are clearly connected to past efforts. You prefer a sense of progress that builds on that past, rather than resets from it.
When making sense of change, you listen to confirm that essential elements of the past will show up or matter in some recognizable future form. For example, if a team moves client meetings from an in-person to virtual format, you might want the same staff to be involved (for role preservation) or the tone of the interaction to stay consistent (for social-emotional familiarity). Otherwise, youll likely lose your bearings in the newness.
Careful timing
Both common sense and scientific evidence agree: repetition is a form of change.
James Clear, Atomic Habits
If your love language is careful timing, you feel most capable when change moves at the pace of trust and readiness: not too fast, not too slow, with space for inevitable relapses, mistakes, and misunderstandings.
When making sense of change, even if you resonate with the rationale for implementing a particular change initiative, you might not hop fully onboard until you see a timeline for rolling out that initiative. You want to see change broken up into phases, each one providing time for you to absorb, mess up, learn, adjust, and eventually become ready to move onto the next phase. Fast-paced overhauls are one of your worst professional nightmares.
Celebrating growth
We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.
Maya Angelou
If you speak the language of celebrating growth, you feel resilient when progress is affirmed, feedback is given compassionately, and making transformation feels joyful. You dont want change to feel like a chore or task, but rater a source of fulfillment and satisfaction.
When making sense of change, you prefer to have a sense of what will likely signal that change is moving in the right direction, so that you can be on the lookout for those signals. When you are in the thick of change, you seek tasks that you want to do, rather than need to do, as well as encouragement that honors your effort, not just your output. When change isnt enjoyable or imaginative, you feel dramatically less committed.
What I’m tryoing to say is
Change languages stand to benefit all areas of organizational change, from project management, to leadership development, to conflict resolution. They help us move through change relationallyrather than alone, undignified, or confused. Instead of resisting the fact that different people inevitably become attached to different aspects of change, we can embrace these differences with clarity, and therefore strengthen our chances of arriving somewhere more grounded, more aligned, and ultimately more fulfilled than where we started.
Historical period dramas are not only highly entertaining but also can serve as bigger metaphors for modern audiences. Wrapped up in the elaborate costumes and stylized language, there are lessons to be learned.
So it is with Julian Fellowess HBO series The Gilded Age, which has much to say about the complexities of innovation and capitalism. The series has been scoring record ratings ahead of its much-anticipated Season 3 finale, which airs August 10.
Let’s take a look at what all the fuss is about. If you’re not up to date on the series, beware: There are spoilers ahead!
First, some background
Before we get into the dollars and cents of it all, heres a quick refresher. The Gilded Age premiered in January 2022 on HBO despite being slated to air on NBC originally.
The plot follows Marian Brook (played by Louisa Jacobson), a newly orphaned young adult who is forced to move in with her old-monied aunts in New York City in 1882.
Residing across the street from her new home are railroad magnate George Russell (Morgan Spector); his wife, Bertha (Carrie Coon); and their two young adult children, Larry (Harry Richardson) and Gladys (Taissa Farmiga), who are looked down upon because of their “new money” status.
The title of the show refers to the time period in which it is set. Mark Twain and Charles Dudley Warner are credited for naming this moment in history in their book The Gilded Age: A Tale of Today. These authors’ social commentary remarked that the period looked beautiful but it was all just a patina or facade built on an ethically questionable foundation. So what can audiences learn here?
Capitalism needs regulation
While George Russell is a fictional character, he has historical precedent in the likes of Jay Gould and Cornelius Vanderbilt.
George made his fortune by being a ruthless railroad tycoon. When the old guard doesnt accept his authority, he muscles his way in. In Season 1 he manipulates the stock market, causing Patrick Morris (Michael Gill), a city alderman, to lose his fortune and take his own life.
George isnt afraid to pressure politicians to achieve his goals of railroad expansion. He threatens to pull his business from the representatives districts, and offers bribes and political favors. He bullies entire towns by promising to bypass certain cities if his demands are not met. George does not care about the human impact of his business dealings.
Audiences are shown a softer side of the robber baron in Season 2 when he agrees to negotiate with striking railroad workers, but even then George makes sure the final deal favors his interests instead of the working class.
Ultimately, the character serves as a cautionary tale, warning against unchecked capitalism (though last weeks cliffhanger suggests we may see him have a change of heart).
It’s lonely at the top
Jack Trotter (Ben Ahlers) works as a footman in the Van Rhijn household. On the side, he labors to invent a reliable alarm clock and ultimately sells it with Larry Russell for $600,000.
Overnight, Jacks whole life changes. His take is worth around $9.5 million in today’s dollars, according to Vulture.
While this achievement gives Jack options, he is forced to leave the only home hes ever known. He is now a man who doesnt fit in anywhere, straddling the world of aristocracy and his former working-class roots. Its interesting to ponder whether or not money bought Jack happiness.
Money opens doors
Bertha Russell is an ambitious woman who spends much of the series determined to win the approval of society’s most elite circles. Her wealth gets her in the door, but it does not buy her immediate acceptance.
Bertha is snubbed by the Van Rhijns and Mrs. Astor (Donna Murphy), denied a box at the opera, and gossiped about relentlessly. Eventually, she makes her own mark in societybecause all money talks, even if it’s new.
There will be ups and downs
Capitalism is volatile, as experienced by many of the characters in The Gilded Age. This includes Oscar van Rhijn (Blake Ritson), who was born to privilege but loses it all with one bad real estate investment. Thankfully, his Aunt Agnes (Christine Baranski) reluctantly saves the day.
Ditto for Mr. Collyer (Michael Cerveris), who was once a successful banker. When he loses his money, his father-in-law gets him to agree to divorce his wife and abandon his child. He changes his name to Watson and finds employment in the Russell household as a valet.
The Russell family fortune is dependent on the railroad industry. Because this is new technology in the 19th century, it can be a highly speculative enterprise. When profits are king, entrepreneurs like George Russell run the constant risk of becoming over-leveraged, having to defend their wealth in morally questionable ways, and maybe even losing it all.
The latest season of The Gilded Age focuses in part on the real-life panic of 1893, which “threatened the solvency of the entire banking system,” according to Federal Reserve History.
New industries change society
The railroad was a disrupting force in 19th-century America, analogous to the modern tech industry. Trains not only changed how people traveled but also how products were distributed and wealth was made.
These days, Silicon Valley tech entrepreneurs like Mark Zuckerberg and Jeff Bezos fundamentally shift society with entities such as Facebook, Instagram, and Amazon. Like the Russell family, they also have amassed enormous wealth, and they exert their power across business, culture, politics, and philanthropy.
If George Russell were alive today, he might be ushering in the latest version of ChatGPT instead of building a new rail line. Oscar van Rhijn might have lost his fortune on crypto or NFTs.
While the final word might lie in future episodes, The Gilded Age doesnt fully condemn or endorse capitalism. It holds a mirror up to human nature and lets the audience draw its own conclusions, via petticoats and top hats.
